5 STEPS to Have Less Conflict and More Fun
We do not like conflicts, do we?! Even though most people know that conflicts are natural part of life (and they can be very healthy if mastered well) STILL we do not like those feelings of pressure, anxiety and discomfort. So some of us pretend things are not happening, some of us avoid conflict, some of us attack first not to get hurt and some of us try to master it well. No matter what strategy we choose, we do not even have to get into this place.
Many conflicts are namely unnecessary.
Here are 5 practical tips to have less conflict and more fun and cooperation in your life.
1. Never assume that you know what the other person thinks and what their intentions are. Ask. That is the only way how you can exchange your assumption for a true, valid information. And only this information can serve as a good foundation for your next actions or thoughts.
2. Articulate your opinion clearly and directly without pressure. Do not reproach or blame, do not push. A simple principle of our world says that pressure creates only back-pressure. So if you push, people will push against you.
3. Make sure that you both really understand correctly. If you are the receiver of the information, make sure you get it right. For example ask: “Do I get it right that you want…?”. If you are the one sending the information into the world, find out what is it that your partner is leaving the conversation with. You can ask for example: “So what is on your mind now? What are you taking away from this conversation?”
Words are tricky and our assumptions and patterns always interfere.
4. Make sure you pay attention to your feelings, needs and boundaries. Suppressing your needs always leads to serious conflicts and damage of relationships in long-term perspective. And to be fair: you are responsible for meeting your needs. Not others. No matter how cruel this might sound, it is true.
You can express your feelings and needs with kindness and remain strong. It is important to have as much for yourself as you have for others. That is the only way to lasting and good quality relationships in life and at work.
5. Learn how to be fully present in your life. Keep your mind fresh and fit. Only that way you can pro-actively react on any situation in the moment. Otherwise, your autopilot takes on and applies your habitual behavior. And then you are all surprised, that you have gone through the same conflict conversation, in the same non-productive way, and you have the same old result that you do not like at all. And you are somewhere, where you did not want to be.
How can you do that? Start with noticing where your mind is. Is it here or wandering somewhere else? By this simple exercise you can start teaching your mind to be more present.
Relax, rest and refresh regularly. Give yourself the gift of taking good care of you.
I wish you all the best on your journey! :-)
Would you like to learn more about honest and non-pushy communication? Join us for our webinars! I cannot wait to see you there!
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